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Alan Jones hires ‘respected lawyer’ former Attorney-General Christian Porter for defamation case

Former radio host Alan Jones has hired ‘highly respected lawyer’ former Attorney-General Christian Porter for an upcoming defamation case against the Sydney Morning Herald.

The lawsuit comes after allegations that Jones groped lower level employees while working at 2GB, an allegation that Jones denies. The former shock jock told his fans that he hopes that the defamation case will save his reputation as one of the nations leading fuckwits. After seeing how famously well high-profile defamation cases have gone for so many of his friends in recent years.

Porter was reportedly chosen to represent Jones after a great recommendation from alleged war hero Ben Roberts-Smith.

“It is time to take action to stop them from talking,” said the freedom of speech absolutist livestreaming his show to his three hundred viewers, “luckily I have one of top lawyers that people associate with defamation lawsuits. He says we can get Fairfax to suffer a humiliating step down to me.”

Christian Porter has reportedly already begun work organising a blind trust for Jones. A fund Kerry Stokes has recommended the Channel 7 board invest in.

Dutton has reportedly already offered his services to help Jones find random unemployed people to add to the suit over tweets with a few likes, claiming they are the ones with the real power in this country. Meanwhile Lachlan Murdoch has offered to try and attack any small independent news sites that mention the allegations, leading to far more people seeing the allegations.

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