“The capped prices means there will be no market for Taylor Swift tickets” claims property investor

Millionaire property developer Richard Hoarderman has taken a break from his work of having someone else manage his 12 negatively geared investment properties to provide his expert analysis on the ‘Taylor Swift tour’ market, which he says will completely collapse after the Victorian Government introduced a cap on ticket prices.

“It’s simple supply and demand really,” he told every media outlet without any pushback, “if there are laws preventing people from hoarding all the tickets only to drastically raising prices and offload them, then there would be no reason for anyone to purchase tickets.”

“These scalpers are just humble mum and pop investors who are doing it tougher than anyone else at the moment. They make their money an honest way by providing a service to all the fans who don’t have tickets because they keep selling out. How will the market survive without these heroes?”

“If these ticket scalpers can’t raise prices by an unlimited amount, this could actually make it more expensive for everyone and raise inflation, or even worse, it could cause the sky to literally fall down or mean scalpers won’t be able to afford another yacht.”

“These laws could mean scalpers won’t want to hoard tickets anymore and will stop buying all of them, could you imagine how terrible that world would be? It would mean the only people who might want tickets are the ones who would use them, but this market is only about profit. Just you wait and see, no one will be buying those tickets.”