National
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National
Giggling Albo kicks feet in the air while watching Liberal Party abandon net zero
“Who knew the next election could be even easier than it was already looking?”
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National
Liberal Party hoping to fuck the planet harder than they fucked their chances at the next election
The party denied completely abandoning everything net zero related, saying they are still on track for net zero election wins by 2050.
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National
Sussan Ley reveals image of Albanese drinking Fanta, “like a Nazi”
“He may as well have drank from a bottle that said ‘I love Hitler’.”
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National
Nation shocked as Barnaby Joyce doesn’t remain faithful
“We didn’t expect him to be involved in a split without a pregnancy being involved.”
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National
Pauline offers to let Barnaby pick out the next batch of female interns
“I think he is going to pray over the decision on whether to join the party, I saw him duck into the prayer room.”
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National
Government announces plans for future “Great Barrier Reef Memorial Gas Plant”
“We need to be thinking about the future” said the Climate Change Minister
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National
Katter calls for deporting “dangerous immigrants” who don’t share the ‘Australian value’ of threatening to punch blokes in the mouth
“These people come here and don’t have outbursts threatening random acts of violence” warned Katter
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National
PM expels Anthony Albanese from Labor after he calls for recognition of Palestinian statehood
“This precedent was set last year and I knew that.”
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National
Australia to recognise existence of country that’s being destroyed by weapons made with parts Australia supplies
“For now on, when we say we are ‘deeply concerned’ about the deaths of people being killed by someone, we will be doing so while acknowledging the country those people are from exists.”
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National
Wong clarifies that Australia only sells ‘non-lethal’ Death Star parts
“We don’t sell the laser beam, just the thing that helps aim it.”