General News
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General News
Confused ‘swing’ voter asks when they get to fuck someone else’s partner
“I’ve cast my vote, now I want to play with my democracy sausage.”
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General News
Local mum votes 1 on every candidate, “because they’re all winners for having a go”
“I hope they all had fun”
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General News
Political staffer fired after 2 cms of land remains uncovered by a corflute
The egregious error happened ‘way too close’ to an early polling station, at just 15km away.
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General News
All-female space mission fixes gender equality
“Forget the gender pay gap, the #MeToo movement and women’s rights – all we needed was a group selfie from outer space.”
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General News
ABC audience concerned about how late the debate is getting
“I’m normally in bed by 8:30, what do you mean it’s not over”
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General News
Bluey to host ABC debate in hopes of making it watchable
“Finally, someone taking part who has a soul.”
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General News
Blue Origin flight lasts 11 days’ worth of toilet breaks at an Amazon warehouse
Amazon based the shape of the ship on their famous piss bottles.
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General News
Aussies miss when morning routine didn’t involve finding out whatever the fuck this cunt did today
There’s always some shit going on with old mate.
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General News
Millennials relieved they invested in avocado toast instead of the stock market
“I don’t have to worry since I wasn’t going to buy a house or retire anyway.”
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General News
Local shoplifter claims he was just trying to balance his trade deficit with Coles
“It’s reciprocal theft”