Rex one-ups Qantas by cancelling all flights in advance

Australian former airline Rex achieved a massive win over Qantas by cancelling all of its flights ahead of time instead of waiting until customers have boarded.

“We’ve managed to achieve a 100% accurate flight schedule with no delays, cancellations or flights,” said outgoing director John Sharp, “how many still technically operating airlines can say that?”

“We aren’t stopping there, we plan to cancel everything from employee pay, our critical regional flight service and our business licences.”

“We are also thrilled to announce that our goal of being the first airline to reach Net-0 emissions has been achieved, with Rex producing no carbon emissions at all in the next fiscal quarter. Something no one thought possible.”

Qantas has assured customers that it will be cancelling more flights in the future in order to “Keep up with market standards”.