Albanese wishes Trump would look at him the way he looks at Mamdani

Anthony Albanese has spent the night staring at his phone while eating a tub of ice cream, desperately wishing that one day Donald Trump would look at him the way he looks at Zohran Mamdani.

“It’s just not fair,” said Albanese while Pride and Prejudice plays on the tv in the background, “it should be me.”

“Every picture of him and Mamdani, you can tell Trump is in love, but with me, it’s like a celebrity meet and greet.”

“Mamdani is always arguing with him but gets everything he wants. I give Trump everything he wants and more, and he doesn’t even remember my name.”

First Lady Melania Trump is reportedly relieved to have both the New York Mayor and Australian Prime Minister in town. Allowing her to destress thanks to the amount Mamdani distracts Trump and the amount that Albanese sucks the sexual predator off.