World’s animals call for a vaccine to protect them from RFK Jr

Animals around the world have called on world leaders and the scientific community to prioritise the creation of a vaccine to protect them from the threat of Robert F Kennedy Jr.

This follows numerous bizarre and somehow real animal stories related to exposure to RFK Jr including him ditching a dead bear in the park, him having an attack emu and him cutting off a raccoon’s penis.

“Enough is enough,” said a representative for animal kind, “how long must we suffer in increasingly bizarre and slapstick ways?”

“From what we’ve heard any vaccine will work at keeping him scared and away from us.”

“We’ll even take a placebo because he would probably think it has cooties.”