National

“Every time a statement is made that sounds potentially promising, I will make sure to undermine it.”

“I can’t answer questions about decisions I didn’t make.”

“The threat of American police is real and growing, as they get more and more military equipment, we should too.”

“In a way it’s renewable as the more we do it, the more flooded areas we can drill for gas and oil.”

“Things will be different” they said in denial

“We are going to try talk things out before taking the drastic step.”

“The Liberal Party can have the ‘ition’ half.”

“I’m not sure how we are going to survive this so shortly after our most recent mass election extinction event.”

In breaking news, the federal Liberal National Coalition is breaking apart. This comes as two parties who couldn’t form government together now reckon they can do it without each other. Nationals Party leader David Littleproud told reporters that after years of being a completely dysfunctional pair who were never able to agree on anything, shockingly…

Her role will also involve stepping on rakes and stepping on Lego.