World
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World
“Releasing the Epstein files causes autism” claims Trump
“If you look on a graph, the amount of people diagnosed with autism has risen ever since this file was created so clearly it is to blame.”
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World
RFK Jr vows to make all American hands smaller than their faces to avoid cancer risk
“Every day I walk into the FDA they tell me that if my hand is bigger than my face, I’ll get cancer. Then I check and somehow my hand hits my face, distracting me from knowing if I will get cancer.”
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World
Trump vows to jail anyone who says he’s against free speech
“I am a huge fan of the first amendment, which is of course that the President’s feelings must be protected at all costs.”
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World
Ghislaine Maxwell nominates Trump for Nobel Not A Pedophile Prize
She also nominated him for the Nobel Being Handsome and 6’4 Prize.
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Trump weighs up which country to bomb to distract from Epstein files
“Where is the CNN head office?”
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Trump asks world to stop bringing up Epstein, “the pain of losing him still stings”
“Please let us grieve.”
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World
Israel claims that having nukes is bad
“No one should be allowed to have them as they destabilise the region.”
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Ukraine “weeks away” from developing nuclear weapons, claims Putin
“I hear they plan to strike Mar-a-Lago”
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Trump accuses Iran of not buying him enough jets
“Their leaders must be destroyed as they have never said I am the greatest businessman.”