Optus to buy ABC, and stream it on its app: “What can go wrong?”
"Private enterprise is much better at delivering reliable services. I mean, except for Telstra, the Commonwealth Bank, Medibank and the power companies."
NBN chief says gamers to blame for the dodgy butter chicken he had last night
The attack comes days after Bill Morrow attacked gamers for using the internet, claiming they were slowing down the network. He pleaded with users to stop using the NBN, pointing out it would be much faster if nobody used it
Barnaby Joyce blames entire career on Ambien
"Look, I'm terribly sorry about the Sunday Night interview, I was Ambien interviewing," he said, speaking privately to the entire national media
Barnaby Joyce wondering whether interview will affect future chances of picking up
Barnaby Joyce has expressed privately to the nation’s media that he’s beginning to suspect the events of the past few months may adversely affect his ability to pick up staffers in the future
Local kid killing it at open mic night with smutty rendition of Cottees jingle
"My dad picks his nose..."
Earth Hour Successfully Offsets First 8 Seconds of Vivid Festival
"If we changed it to 'Earth Month' then maybe they would stand a chance."
John Howard hospitalised after calling for increased welfare
"He's clearly delirious"
Low income earner dreaming of all the smashed avos he can buy with $10 tax cut
"Barely one, actually."
Libs roll out the ol’ minority dartboard to decide who’s getting shafted in 2018 budget
"Hahaha just kidding - it's all of them," said Morrison
Federal government tips budget surplus after taking out $5 billion Nimble loan
"This couldn't possibly backfire."