World’s richest man begs Twitter users to cough up some cash

World’s richest man and absolute tightarse Elon Musk has urged Twitter users to cough some cash to verify their accounts, stating that he is a bit tight right now with only $80 billion to his name.

“Where else could the money possibly come from?!” said Musk while on board a test flight of his SpaceX starship rocket. “I’m not made of money you know. Though I do have teams working on making that possible.”

Since buying Twitter, Musk has made no secret of his desire to reduce restrictions on what you can say online, using the platform to repeatedly share with the world his weird sexual thing for pigeons.

Musk’s takeover of Twitter has not been universally supported inside the company, with some employees noticing his refusal to shout a round at knock off drinks.

“Every time it’s his turn to shout, he’s nowhere to be seen. He’s a bloody tightarse this bloke!” said one Twitter employee Musk has not yet got around to sacking.

After much consideration Musk has reportedly backflipped on his decision to charge users to finance the company, deciding instead to launch a GoFundMe page.


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