America has sworn to learn absolutely nothing today, after breathing a massive sigh of relief at the exit of what many are calling the worst Presidency in the history of the United States. “Well I guess I can just tune out again and go back to claiming both sides are just as bad as each other,” said one woman who apparently has had her eyes shut for four straight years. “God it’ll be nice to just not pay any attention to what politicians are doing and then just cast a vote based on what my social media feeds tell me a month out of the next election.”
However some have made the radical suggestion that in fact a Biden presidency should mean people should become more engaged with politics, in order to ensure that he isn’t hamstrung by the same mid-term swing that kneecapped Obama halfway through his first term. “I’m sure he’ll be fine,” said one woman. “So I don’t need to turn out to the mid terms, after all the Democrats have a whopping 1 vote majority in the house and are only 10 votes short of passing bills in the senate, so I’m sure we won’t end up right back in political gridlock again in two years.”
“Now if anybody needs me, I’ll be cancelling my newspaper subscription. Who needs the New York Times when I have such well researched political sources such as South Park and The Chaser to tell me what to think. Politics certainly has improved since they’ve been around.”
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