Local Sydney family the Costas have today born witness to what many on the scene are describing as “the greatest piece of historical revisionism to ever take place”, after family matriarch Violet “Nonna” Wright was heard to utter the words “people were nicer in my day”, apparently referencing that period in history when the entire went to war for six years.
Sitting down to dinner to celebrate Nonna’s 85th birthday, family members were reportedly taken aback to hear the beloved grandmother announce a strongly held belief that “video games are making kids violent” given that crime rates have continually plummeted for the last 30 years.
“I must admit it was a bit of a surprise,” said her eldest son Garry, “given that her entire generation grew up with bomb shelters in their back yards, I don’t see how kids sitting inside looking at computer screens is in any way the worse of the two. I’m actually surprised she even knows what a video game is, given that last time we tried to buy her a computer she slotted a letter into the CD drive while trying to send an email.”
“We used to be able to walk the streets at night without fear, but now I’m terrified to go past my postbox for all the gangs and thugs out there,” persisted Nonna, whose leafy suburban lifestyle in no way intersects with any gang or thug related activities. “Why just last week I saw a pack of six young men riding around on their skateboards out on the street, smiling and laughing. Who knows what kind of crimes they were committing.”