Author and activist JK Rowling has put out a furious statement on social media today, upon hearing the news that the British Prime Minister has transitioned to a man only weeks after becoming a woman.
“See I told you! I knew they’d regret it!” said Rowling before being rushed to hospital after learning she’d just used a gender-neutral pronoun. “This is proof that I was right all along. You can all start praising me again! Also by the way Harry is secretly Jewish.”
“Finally I can speak my truth without being silenced,” continued the world’s most published woman. “I’m sick of people telling me I have to refer to Rishi has a ‘he’. To me she will always be Lizz Truss and nobody is going to convince me otherwise. It’s just science. Also Hermione had fibromyalgia and was in a wheelchair throughout the last four books.”
“The fact is that people can’t change genders, and it’s ludicrous that you’d expect people to accept people’s new names and pronouns,” continued the writer who often goes by the pseudonym Robert Galbraith. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve just been informed the next Dr Who has been revealed to be a black gay man, and I must now go sue them for plagiarising my character ‘Ron’.”
OUR LATEST LIVE SHOW - BOOK NOW: