International cabal of wannabe supervillains, News Corp has come under fire after falsely accusing BBC presenter Huw Edwards of soliciting photos of a 17 year old despite the photos actually being of an adult, labelling Edwards as a ‘creep’. The accusation stems from their UK Tabloid The Sun, an outlet famous for having bikini pics on page 3 and running a countdown of photos until Emma Watson was ‘finally’ 16.
“That presenter is a creep,” claimed the outlet that employs Piers Morgan, “paying for a sex worker’s photos when she is barely a few years too old for one of our ‘consenting age’ countdowns? Does he have no ethical standards?”
“We hear Huw’s money was used for drugs,” wrote an editor after doing their third line of cocaine that morning, “we have no proof of this accusation but still, what kind of scumbag in the media would give a sex worker money knowing that we could make up allegations of drug use?”
“The only reason a journalist should be in a young lady’s phone is if that girl died and you hacked it hoping to embarrass the grieving parents.”
In response to the controversy, lawyers for the outlet have announced that the articles didn’t imply that he was a ‘criminal’ saying, “our clients meant that he should be in prison as a compliment, after all they hear it every day from random passersby on the street.”
“Simply put if The Sun actually thought Edwards was a creepy criminal with no moral compass, they would be offering him an editorial job.”