In a shocking turn of events, American tourist Susan Smith has discovered that Paris, the city known for its romance and charm, is actually a terrible place to visit.
“According to Smith, she was expecting to find cobblestone streets, quaint cafes, and beautiful gardens during her trip to the ‘city of love.’ But instead, she found dirty streets, rude locals, and overpriced tourist traps.
“It’s a total scam,” said Smith. “They lure you in with all these romantic ideas that you’ll meet some sophisticated and stylish French guy named Pierre who will sweep you off your feet with poetry and fine dining. Instead, I met a taxi driver named Remy who smelled like cigarettes and garlic who nicknamed me ‘la Poubelle Américaine’.”
“So much for charming”, continued Susan. “I didn’t realize that when they said ‘French kiss,’ they meant ‘kiss my butt.'”
Smith also expressed frustration with the city’s bad traffic and cramped living conditions.
“The only thing more miserable than the people in this city is the fact that every house is a shoebox,” sighed Susan. “Except at least a shoebox wouldn’t have 80 years of smoke stains lining the walls.”
Despite her negative experience, Smith says she will continue to travel and explore other parts of Europe, with Susan stating she is hoping Ukraine might be a step up in terms of enjoyment.
The city of Paris, for its part, has no comment on Smith’s experience, having told reporters to get lost, before spitting in their face.