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Liberal Minister rushed off stage after man spotted with rechargable battery
That was close
Housing crisis solved after government announces everyone can just Afterpay a house
LNP clarifies they are ‘pro-life’ except when it involves aged care, First Nations people, climate change…
“Why is it not called Mother’s and Father’s day?” pouts Men’s Rights Activist
Local mum thanks kids for shit present that their dad bought
Local banker forced to defraud 2 more grandmas a week following cocaine price hike
PM who can’t tell the difference between Taiwan and Hong Kong ready to take on China
“Facebook is undemocratic” complains man who tried to overturn an election
Local News
Precocious 2nd grader writes memoir of holidays
God’s plan is for man’s life to suck
‘Nutbush City Limits’ revives party
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World News
“Thank you to George Floyd for choosing to be murdered so white people can learn murder is bad”- Nancy Pelosi
Tesla cars start killing their own drivers in bold next step towards fully driverless cars
“I’m not guilty, but if I say my version of events I’ll sound guilty” says George Floyd’s murderer
Prince Philip definitely still dead, rolling news coverage confirms
Gone too soon: Prince Philip dead at 182
Matt Gaetz announces move to Australian Liberal Party
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Politics
“Now Is Not The Time To Talk About Building A Quarantine Facility”
Calls To Rename Dedicated Quarantine Facilities ‘Australian War Memorials’ To Ensure They Get Built
Australians Fleeing Bushfires To Be Jailed For 5 Years
Government Finally Announces Plans To Construct Custom-Built Jail For Returning Australians
Totally Fucking Up Immunisation Rollout Was Part Of God’s Plan, Morrison Says
Laming says empathy course helped him put himself in someone else’s shoes. Without their consent. While hiding in a bush.
Real Estate
Minister who forgot about buying house luckily still remembered to negatively gear it
Sultan of Brunei flaunts wealth by purchasing room in decrepit Sydney sharehouse
UN called in to resolve washing-up stalemate
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Comment Is Cheap
There's no such thing as an ethical guacamole dip for your election night party
Guardian Staff Writer
There is only one real choice in this election, Tony Abbott
Andrew Bolt
Hey Ho! This half-baked election really takes the cake!
Annabel Crabb!
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