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Trump apologises for grabbing security guard’s neck, stating he had mistaken it for a woman’s genitals
"When you're famous they let you do that"
Tupperware somehow even wetter after 8 hours in drying up rack
Chaser Report Live with Chris Taylor, Floyd Alexander-Hunt, Dom Knight and Charles Firth
Harvey Norman declares bankruptcy after going whole month without government handout
Qantas hit with further scandal after passenger discovers $50 million worth of lettuce in boogie board bag
Struggling young people encouraged to just cut back on food, housing, electricity, transport…
“No corruption in Barilaro’s appointment” declares new head of ICAC John Barilaro
Cost blowout explained by NSW Govt accidentally approving 25 million new flags on Harbour Bridge
Local News
Nitschke’s euthanasia ship hits iceberg, delights passengers
Father introduces son to life-long hatred of fishing
God’s plan is for man’s life to suck
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World News
Boris Johnson says he’ll bring the booze after being told there’ll be a party room meeting
Australia and China restore relationship, bonding over shared hatred of Scott Morrison
“At least things can’t get any worse” says naive man unaware of imminent zombie apocalypse
Good Year sued for false advertising
Morrison offers to lend his power drill after hearing Putin’s planning a coop
Thousands of naughty kids injured after Santa replaces coal with wind turbines
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Politics
Liberal Party calls crisis meeting after census reveals 1 in 2 Australians is female
Inquiry into Barilaro’s New York posting to be conducted by John Barilaro
REVEALED: Itemised costings for installing flag on Sydney Harbour Bridge
Man who wants government out of his life accidentally makes government bigger part of his life
Perrottet confirms $25 million flag contract awarded to John Barilaro Flags Pty Ltd
Energy Crisis: Coalition outlines proposal to mine the sun
Real Estate
Minister who forgot about buying house luckily still remembered to negatively gear it
Sultan of Brunei flaunts wealth by purchasing room in decrepit Sydney sharehouse
UN called in to resolve washing-up stalemate
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Comment Is Cheap
There's no such thing as an ethical guacamole dip for your election night party
Guardian Staff Writer
There is only one real choice in this election, Tony Abbott
Andrew Bolt
Hey Ho! This half-baked election really takes the cake!
Annabel Crabb!
The Chaser