News
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National
Pell vows to become vegetarian, will still eat meat every day
Cardinal George Pell has vowed to become vegetarian this month, telling a congregation at the vatican, “All beings are equal in God’s eyes and hence should not be consumed.” Pell told his flock that he believed he would enjoy the vegetarian lifestyle. “When I saw how much fun vegetarians were having with all the shaming and the…
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National
Hanson caught replacing ‘Asian’ with ‘Muslim’ on old One Nation banners
When all else fails, go with what works.
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Entertainment
Greyhound trainers turn to mistreating Pokémon as new form of livelihood
It has been revealed several prominent Greyhound trainers have been using the Pokémon Go app, to catch, train and then mistreat Pokémon. Earlier this week Pokémon Go players reported that a white male in his fifties wearing an old polo with a cap pulled down over his face, was using an injured Pikachu as live…
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National
Local eccentric ‘hasn’t been seen in weeks’
With the election campaign drawing to a close, the Liberal Party has confirmed it has had a troubled Warringah man under virtual house arrest since the campaign began.
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General News
Woman swallows medicine ball: just gets sicker
A Melbourne woman has questioned the medicinal qualities of 5kg leather balls after demonstrating that, when ingested, they do not to improve patient health. Katrina Tsun, 24, swallowed a whole medicine ball on Friday night in the hope it would ease her stomach ache. “To be honest, it just made me feel worse,” the disappointed…
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Entertainment
Manager orders Bindi Irwin to deny exploitation claims
Bindi has made a series of carefully stage-managed media appearances to refute claims she is being manipulated.
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General News
Earring ruins Doctor’s credibility
“I’d be worried about his ability to make sound judgements with a look so clearly inspired by 90s boybands.”
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General News
McDonald’s worker tries to “gangsta up” his uniform
Sixteen year-old Dapto hoodlum Brett Waterton has slowly customised his standard McDonald’s uniform to reflect American hip-hop culture. Working within the constraints of the strict employee code of conduct, Waterton has nevertheless added what he describes as “flava” to the staff garb. While his workmates choose to wear the durable, stain resistant pants in a size comfortable for them,…
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National
Nationals do most of the swearing at new Cabinet swearing-in
Senator McGauran: has since given the finger to his own side National Party MPs have protested the loss of another ministerial post, disrupting the new Cabinet’s swearing-in with a chorus of obscenities. The protest was led by Nationals Leader Mark Vaile, who, after swearing allegiance to the Queen audibly added, “But the Liberal Party can…