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Extreme Vetting podcast – Episode 23 – Libbi Gorr

Welcome back to another season of Extreme Vetting with The Chaser – the only podcast to torture its guests. Below is a transcript of our grilling of the broadcaster and TV legend behind Elle McFeast, Libbi Gorr. Gorr tells Border Force how she delighted audiences without getting sued by McDonald’s.

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Interrogation Notes

Subject: LIBBI GORR
Under Investigation For: ADVERTISER-UNFRIENDLY PRACTICES

 

Dom Knight:

Libbi Gorr, thank you for submitting to this involuntary interrogation.

Libbi Gorr:

It’s absolutely my pleasure.

Introduction:

The level of sedition, anti-authority behaviour and advertiser-unfriendly thought crime has reached record levels, especially amongst Australian’s elites. Luckily, the men and men of The Chaser have been commissioned by Border Force to conduct interrogations and sort out the subversives from the patriots. In conjunction with ASIO and the Five Eyes intelligence sharing protocols, this is Extreme Vetting with the Chaser.

Andrew Hansen:

Dommy, I’ve brought in somebody who really deserves a grilling today. Now this is a performer who under the stage name of Elle McFeast, once made many acclaimed comedy shows while desecrating the name of the most beloved corporation in the world. McDonald’s. No, that’s sacrilege. It’s appalling. Now, not only that of course, it chills my blood to say this, but she spent many years as an ABC radio presenter.

Dom Knight:

There’s nothing worse than someone from comedy who becomes an earnest ABC radio presenter.

Andrew Hansen:

I could not agree with you more about this Dommy. It is time to make Elle McFeast grill us.

Dom Knight:

Libbi tell us about where you grew up.

Libbi Gorr:

Where I grew up? Where I grew up?

Andrew Hansen:

Why is it so outrageous, this is an Libbi?

Libbi Gorr:

I just lie down on the couch- Murrumbeena!

Dom Knight:

We’re looking for a pattern of criminality that dates back to your earliest-

Libbi Gorr:

Oh, Murrumbeena.

Dom Knight:

What’s that?

Libbi Gorr:

Murrumbeena 3163. It is a suburb that is home to Daryl Braithwaite, Bob Down, Robbie Flower, the great Melbourne footballer, the late Robbie Flower. In fact, I even think This is Serious Mum played their first gig at the Duncan Mackinnon Reserve, which is somewhere around near Murrumbeena. And so Murrumbeena when I was growing up was not quite Caulfield, but now Murrumbeena, hey, you don’t want to be in Carnegie. And a lot of people-

Dom Knight:

Right, and people from Murrumbeena, go into showbiz with pseudonyms, don’t they? I mean Bob Downe, TISM…

Libbi Gorr:

Daryl Braithwaite.

Dom Knight:

Daryl Braithwaite. Yes.

Andrew Hansen:

What’s his real name? What’s Daryl Braithwaite real name?

Libbi Gorr:

Braithwaite Daryl.

Dom Knight:

Right. What is it about Murrumbeena that makes people want to assume different identities?

Libbi Gorr:

Well, I think when you take on a different identity in the 70s in Melbourne, although they were all a little bit older than me in the 60s, it’s a very good question. It was possibly safer. It was possibly safer. I think we grew up in a time of assumed identities, didn’t we? I mean, there was Elton John, there was, who else was there?

Andrew Hansen:

Madonna.

Dom Knight:

That’s her real name.

Libbi Gorr:

No, no, that was her real name.

Andrew Hansen:

Oh, really.

Libbi Gorr:

She dropped her surname.

Andrew Hansen:

Well, that’s an assumed identity. If you’re dropping your surname that’s a bit sus.

Libbi Gorr:

Don Lane. Now that wasn’t his real name.

Dom Knight:

Was it really not?

Libbi Gorr:

No, it was something like Morton Isaacson or something. I think Bert Newton was, that was his real name.

Dom Knight:

You wouldn’t change your name TO to Bert Newton surely.

Libbi Gorr:

No, I don’t think you would. I think that was it. Marist brothers, Fitzroy. They’re all the names I grew up with when I was little. All blokey names.

Dom Knight:

What was the worst thing you did as a child? Because currently, and we’ve got the records here and there’s not a lot of detail. I mean, obviously the notoriety comes later, but yeah, not much. Was it really that boring? I mean it was Melbourne.

Libbi Gorr:

Well, it was Melbourne. And in actual fact there was a lot of sitting on the front step listening to the Footy on long Saturday afternoons, because when I grew up in Melbourne in the 70s, it was the time just on the cusp of Sherbet v Skyhooks. It was just on the cusp of Collingwood winning its very first Wooden Spoon on the AFL letter. They still had the McIntyre system, which was the final five in football, there were only 12 teams. It was the VFL, not the AFL. And if you’re talking about childhood, the worst thing I did in childhood, it was possibly get expelled from Sunday school.

Dom Knight:

Now we’re talking.

Libbi Gorr:

Okay, now you’ve pressed the button-

Andrew Hansen:

Expelled from Sunday, that’s not even possible, I didn’t think.

Libbi Gorr:

I did. I did because I’m a great one in social justice. I’ve always been a believer in social justice.

Dom Knight:

So hang on. How did you spin Sunday School with social justice? What’s the-

Libbi Gorr:

Well, it wasn’t, that’s the whole point. It just wasn’t, I felt there was propaganda that was being pedaled at Sunday school and I called them on it at eight years of age. Well, I have to say the Rabbi wasn’t unimpressed. He liked my theological reasoning. He thought I could actually have a future as a Talmudic scholar. But Miss Duffield wasn’t as happy. She didn’t like me standing up before her and saying, “Standing up in front of you is like throwing Daniel into the lion’s den.” I had a great divinity knowledge because I went to an Anglican girls school, as a little Jewish girl in Melbourne.

Libbi Gorr:

So I always say now that I am a Jewish-Australian woman with an Anglican rising and a Methodist moon, because I’ve got passports all areas. And that’s basically what my little confused theologically mixed up in a simulated, football oriented, Sherbet doused childhood, created a little girl who thought, I don’t want to be called Libbi. It’s the daggiest name in the world. Why can’t I just be Debbie like everyone else? And, so I made up, that’s who you have now sitting in front of you as a fully formed, grown up lady.

Andrew Hansen:

Well I think this is a conundrum for religious freedom, what you’ve just described, you’re a bizarre religious salad, aren’t you?

Libbi Gorr:

I am. I am indeed a very fruity religious salad.

Dom Knight:

Well, I might want to consult Christian Porter on this one, Andrew. I mean, if you’re part of all of these religions, does that mean you just get to say whatever you want, because it must be somehow connected to one of your religions somewhere?

Libbi Gorr:

Yes. And I also think that I can actually define myself in whichever way I want, which is that communist lady coming out, but always comes from a private school education in Melbourne. That little progressive communist lady, that only people with money can give you. I do define myself as a fruit salad.

Dom Knight:

It’s very impressive that your rebellion against religion took the form of religious references though.

Libbi Gorr:

Well, thank you. I always say the New Testament is just a further draft of the old. Don’t you think that there’s lots in the Bible? I can’t believe you two. Don’t you think there’s lots in the Bible that is just the basis of ethics? Don’t you think?

Andrew Hansen:

Well look, this sounds like scandalous. Talk to me. What’s an example?

Libbi Gorr:

Well for instance, when Abraham put Isaac on the alter, to teach Abraham a lesson. Ah, when God asked Abraham to put Isaac on the alter, to teach Abraham a lesson about who’s the boss, he didn’t actually go through with it. I looked at the story, they thought, can we make a franchise out of this movie? No. In the second draft, they nailed him up. They did it. Better story. Better outcome. Died, rose again. Took over the world. See?

Dom Knight:

Oh, so you think that the New Testament is Empire Strikes Back?

Libbi Gorr:

Yeah, I do. I think the Old Testament is the prequel.

Andrew Hansen:

Oh, harsh, harsh. It’s not, and I’m not talking Phantom Menace territory.

Dom Knight:

Is Jar Jar Binks in the Old Testament?

Libbi Gorr:

I was sort of thinking more, I don’t know. Home Alone 1. I don’t know.

Andrew Hansen:

Oh, well that’s the finest of the Home Alone series in my view.

Dom Knight:

It’s the least worst.

Libbi Gorr:

I think Rocky also has Dominical implications.

Andrew Hansen:

Oh, Rocky, explain.

Libbi Gorr:

Well Rocky one, if that’s just not about self-respect and resilience, I don’t know what it is.

Andrew Hansen:

Certainly true that Rocky as a franchise refuses to die. It tends to be immortal.

Libbi Gorr:

It does. And not only that, it spawns off into, I mean look now we’ve got Creed, another family tree. Which I don’t know whether that would be any good if Rocky wasn’t in it, but because you need Rocky sitting there talking to Adrian.

Andrew Hansen:

You want to see Rocky, don’t you? He’s kind of, because he’s like the Yoda of the Star, he’s in Star Wars. You’ve got to have, just as wisened by now.

Dom Knight:

And yeah, and even older looking.

Libbi Gorr:

Yeah. Well, no, no, no. He’s not old looking, he’s had lifties.

Dom Knight:

He’s actually mysteriously younger looking than he was a couple of movies ago.

Libbi Gorr:

Yes.

Dom Knight:

Particularly in the TV series. Anyway. Now Libbi, you’re talking about listening to the Footy on the stairs. Is that where your love of sport, it’s been a big part of your career, is that when that began?

Libbi Gorr:

Well my love of sport was infused into, because I was sport. I had two older brothers, right. So being a third child with a family of two older brothers, there was always sport to be heard, even if one was the subject of that. Being thrown around or-

Dom Knight:

So you found yourself being incorporated into the games, like it or not?

Libbi Gorr:

Or I was the game for instance, one of my brothers-

Dom Knight:

All right, even football?

Libbi Gorr:

Yeah. Football, I wasn’t so much into football, would you call. one of my brothers used to sit on me and tickle me and lick my face until I wet my pants. Is that, that’s not really football, is it? That’s something-

Dom Knight:

No, I think that’s generally… abuse is what that is. That’s certainly what, remember when I tried doing that here at Border Force, that’s what the internal affairs report said it was, abuse.

Libbi Gorr:

Do I need to call my lawyer?

Dom Knight:

Definitely.

Andrew Hansen:

Well, I mean I’m interested in these techniques. I mean this sitting on people and face licking-

Libbi Gorr:

Until they wet their pants.

Andrew Hansen:

Yeah, I think this could be useful in the department, actually.

Dom Knight:

Let’s have a word about this. I’m pretty sure Andrew, that Minister Dutton pioneered these techniques when he was in the Queensland police, but it shows potential. I mean, maybe other members of the family could be brought on board.

Andrew Hansen:

Ooh, hello.

Dom Knight:

I mean, look, Libbi just to reveal what’s going on here…

Libbi Gorr:

Yeah, I’m slightly confused. In a darkened room with a buzz saw.

Dom Knight:

I think you’ve probably figured out what this is all about though and you know in your heart of hearts, that we are trying to gradually win over all of the beloved performers of Australia to the cause of a Border Force and the AFP.

Libbi Gorr:

Of course.

Dom Knight:

In some cases is sort of overt agents, in some cases a sleeper agents, we are here to essentially co-opt and corrupt you. We’re always looking for more interrogators and Libbi, you’ve interviewed so many people over the years in so many different forms, but let’s get to your comedy career. How did you go from all of this multi-religion childhood to the world of comedy?

Libbi Gorr:

Well I think that’s exactly how I went from… That is exactly sir, how I made the transition into comedy because one needed to make sense of it somehow. All those different little Yungian influences, they need to bubble to the surface make sense in some sort of joy, sir.

Dom Knight:

And what was the first time you found yourself actually performing?

Libbi Gorr:

Probably in Alice in Wonderland… Oh no, actually it was singing, raindrops keep falling on my head, at the Cuckoo restaurant up in, the Cuckoo restaurant is in, it’s for Olinda.

Dom Knight:

It’s a Cuckoo restaurant?

Libbi Gorr:

It’s a Cuckoo restaurant.

Dom Knight:

What, do you eat cuckoos in this restaurant?

Libbi Gorr:

You ate cuckoos. Correct. It was actually run by a couple from a Germanic background and they called it the Cuckoo restaurant and they had lots of cockatiels there. And it was one of those places that you went for a visit on a Sunday afternoon and you had lunch there and there was a band, and I sung raindrops keep falling on your head, over and over and over again. I only knew the first bit. And they rewarded me with a soggy handful of after-dinner mints in a paper serviette and I was hooked. I was hooked.

Dom Knight:

Did you have a pleasant singing voice or were they just being kind?

Libbi Gorr:

I think they were just being kind. Now much later, the man who ran the Cuckoo disappeared in one of Melbourne’s fabulous Underbelly murders. But I don’t think that has anything, or maybe that is the complete round circle of my entertainment career.

Dom Knight:

I’m yet to see the Underbelly series, including you. But I mean, every Melbournian will eventually feature somewhere in an Underbelly.

Libbi Gorr:

Everyone will.

Andrew Hansen:

There’s the shady figures, kind of woven throughout your entire career, aren’t there? Which interests me.

Libbi Gorr:

Which shady figures Andrew? Are you talking about… apart from Mr Read?

Andrew Hansen:

Well I mean, you’re kind of well known for interviewing a certain shady personage, in the name of Chopper Read, which I think is interesting from our…

Dom Knight:

Well he was in Underbelly.

Andrew Hansen:

And he was in underbelly.

Libbi Gorr:

He was Underbelly. Part of it, part of it. But I also interviewed Mr. Keating, would you say that he was a shady figure? KD Lang? Not so much a shady figure.

Dom Knight:

KD Lang isn’t shady enough. Look, Paul Keating, given who we currently work for, very shady. Very shady.

Libbi Gorr:

Slightly shady.

Andrew Hansen:

Yeah, look Paul Keating got a bit shady with the queen. How was Paul Keating to interview?

Libbi Gorr:

Oh, he was one of my favourites. It was like playing netball with Mr. Keating. Yes. Because he had all these guards around him, so I always felt like I was a wing defense trying to come in contact with wing attack, and he just get the other defenders in between us wave as he wandered through.

Dom Knight:

How do you break through with a Paul Keating? Do you try and throw him off edge? Do you throw him off balance?

Libbi Gorr:

I think the first time I interviewed Paul Keating I did do that. And then from then on he was careful. So, you know what happened with Paul Keating.

Dom Knight:

Tell us.

Libbi Gorr:

It was a room full of men in grey suits at a Collingwood Football Club lunch, and I was wearing a red dress. Eddie McGuire was hosting in a gray suit.

Dom Knight:

Of course.

Libbi Gorr:

And people were asking questions of Paul Keating, and I was working for Live and Sweaty for Andrew Denton, as you have in those days.

Dom Knight:

We’ll get to that. Yes.

Libbi Gorr:

And he was trying to get Paul Keating to go and bowl with him for Live and Sweaty. And I was the one who had access in Melbourne, as the Melbourne reporter for Live and Sweaty. So my job, my mission gentlemen for that day, this is to show how brave I can be, in my red dress with the cutout bit around the, they call it décolletage, which was my Spice Girls feminism, was to ask Mr. Keating to bowl. And so I put my hand up for the microphone given Eddie was taking questions from the floor. And to his credit, Eddie gave me the microphone and then I walked through a thousand men in their gray suits singing to Paul Keating, and got up next to him on stage and he was completely nonplussed. And he put his arm around my back and my exact words, gentlemen were, “Oh, you’ve got your hand on my back like you did with the queen.” And then I said-

Dom Knight:

Nicely done.

Libbi Gorr:

Very nice. And then I said, “And did she do this?” And I leaned forward and went to lick his face and see if he’d laugh until he wet his pants.

Dom Knight:

It’s a good … there’s a pattern to this isn’t there?

Libbi Gorr:

It was a good technique, good technique. And that was that, we were lifelong friends. But I didn’t get close to him. I didn’t get close to him afterwards unless there was a lot of security. So-

Dom Knight:

Oh, so he didn’t want to be licked again. He didn’t want more.

Libbi Gorr:

Well, no, he didn’t want, no, and he wasn’t licked again until 96 really?

Dom Knight:

That’s true.

Libbi Gorr:

And that had nothing to do with me. That had to do with putting on that funny hat when he went to the CHOGM or something. Once they start putting on funny hats, it’s a vulnerability.

Andrew Hansen:

It’s going over, isn’t it? And look, this is also something of a good reason why our boss, Peter Dutton looks the way he does. Because you wouldn’t put a funny hat on that or you’d have real problems.

Dom Knight:

Well he looks a bit like an ice cream that’s been licked a few times too many, doesn’t he?

Andrew Hansen:

Yeah.

Libbi Gorr:

Yeah, he does.

Dom Knight:

And how did the character of Elle McFeast fit into all this? Was it liberating to have that?

Libbi Gorr:

Well, the character of Elle McFeast gave me a context. So it gave me it’s social activism, if you know what I mean. Like for instance, the way the whole name came up was, when I was in the Hot Bagels and we were doing comedy festival and we were asked to do ads for the comedy festival. The guys at Flint Webster, whom were making all the comedy festival ads said, “Oh, you’ve got a nice tone in your voice. Would you like to come and do some voiceovers?” Which I thought a different way of putting oneself through uni rather than working at Dracula’s or Red Rooster, right? So the one that I auditioned for, they held up a picture, true story, they hold up a picture of Elle Macpherson and they said, “Do you think you can sound like that?”

Dom Knight:

Sound like that.

Libbi Gorr:

Sound like that. Now I have made an entire career out of being fat shamed and looks shamed. Not having a conventional celebrity body or face. And I looked at this skinny, beautiful picture of Elle Macpherson because she was it at the time. She did the tab called Red. She was on the cover of Sports Illustrated. She wore togs that just crawled up the crack of her bottom and we’re just delighted to be there. And I looked at this picture of Elle Macpherson and I said, “Can I sound like that? I don’t know, how do you sound hungry.” From there, but that’s true. And from there, Elle McFeast was born because I was performing in pubs after constitutional law lectures with the Bagels up at the Prince Patrick in Collingwood. And we’d stop for gyros and McDonald’s on the way home. So it was my way of saying, there are other ways of a woman being valued in society than being that form of beauty. Why can’t the rest of us have some agency?

Libbi Gorr:

And so you were asking me about Footy and being mad on sport before. It wasn’t so much that football made me mad on sport, but what growing up in Melbourne in the 70s did was, with that huge football culture around, it showed me, even though I was being taught by teachers who were second wave feminists, if you think about it, they were all at a private girls school and they’d all read Germaine Greer, and they’re all thinking, well, I’ll do the best I can for me, but these girls need to know that everything’s possible. So that’s what we were being told. But when I looked around me at the structures of power and influence, even though I didn’t understand that that’s what I was doing at the time, it was all through Footy. All of the influential people in Melbourne were either footballers or presidents of football clubs or involved in power and influence and they were all male.

Dom Knight:

How interesting.

Libbi Gorr:

And so, the interesting thing for me was, how do you find your way through that so that you can have all the things that we’re being told at school that were entitled to? Which is equal rights, equal pay, equal opportunity, all of those sorts of things. And that little seven year old brain said, “Oh, well I need to play football.” Well, so I played football in a different way. Kicked a few balls, took a few marks, did a few spikies, all of those sorts of things. And that’s why it was this complete blow out for me when actually women did start playing football a few years ago, and that I was actually part of that. I find that incredibly emotional, because that’s basically where my drive came from. Does that make sense or do I need to lay it down and get an evaluation?

Dom Knight:

Oh no, that’s-

Libbi Gorr:

Do you know, is that going to rule me out for having that kind of influence, that kind of, I don’t know, youthful feminist drive.

Dom Knight:

Well, if you’re used to pushing your way through a room full of men, welcome to Border Force.

Libbi Gorr:

Yes. Well I do have those skills, although now that I’m older and I have my own children, I think part of that skill is being seen by those men as possible prey or as one says in the books, fuckable. And when you’re older and you’ve already got your children, that kind of goes out. I don’t necessarily think that they see you through that lens. So one of your armouries is taken from you, even if you never delivered.

Dom Knight:

Yeah. As people who’ve just worked for a few years in commercial radio. How on earth did McDonald’s not sue you for using McFeast? I mean we mentioned McDonald’s even passingly and got in huge trouble.

Libbi Gorr:

I actually think it was long user, to tell you the truth. And I did take out a patent in other areas apart from hamburgers.

Dom Knight:

Oh did you?

Libbi Gorr:

Yes.

Dom Knight:

Does that still stand? You still own the McFeast name?

Libbi Gorr:

No, I don’t think I did, I think I let it lapse, but we did take out… Yeah.

Dom Knight:

That’s brilliant. So they had the burger sense, but you had the other stuff.

Libbi Gorr:

It was only a problem when Hungry Jack’s came to me. It was only a problem-

Dom Knight:

You’re making this up.

Libbi Gorr:

No, no, no. I mean, that was the whole thing, was for me to be at the end of the tag of the Hungry Jack’s commercial with the burgers are better at Hungry Jacks. I didn’t do that.

Dom Knight:

Didn’t you?

Libbi Gorr:

That would have been biting the hand that fed, wouldn’t it? And the ABC, mostly the ABC because one couldn’t do ads when on the ABC.

Dom Knight:

Well, actually that’s the other thing, I mean, I remember The Chaser got in trouble for doing stunts in McDonald’s because it’s such a good place to do stunts. And there were so many that at one point they said, “Look, to be honest, too much promotion of McDonald’s even though you’re making fun of them.” So if you’d have a character called Elle McFeast on the ABC for years, that’s amazing, you were allowed to do that, that’s brilliant.

Libbi Gorr:

Yeah, it was. Well, it was joyous. It was joyous, there’s absolutely no other word to describe it. We had a ball and I am sure both of you gentlemen, that if we looked back through the Me Too lens, we would say, oh my goodness, guys did you all do this? And did you all do that? And did this happen? And did that happen? But I can’t rewrite history and say that I would’ve wanted things to have happened any other way than they did. I learned so much from, I mean, TVs predominantly, at that stage was predominantly male, older male. All the legends were male. There was an up rising group of women at the ABC in Sydney who called themselves network 99. After 86 and 99. And so they were trying to, that was at the beginning of the female inclusion push at the ABC.

Libbi Gorr:

David Hill was my managing director and he was fun and we ended up in woman’s day engaged. Yes, because I was going to be Libbi Gorr Hill, that’s right. And ABC was at Gore Hill, when I was Libbi Gorr he was David Hill. So, it was fun. We had fun and we did good work and they did support me. What I learned when it was finished though, gentleman, was that the only way that I probably entertained such power, because at that stage in the 90s, a decade of it, of tonight shows and things. But it was because I had the support of those men, it was because I entertained that support from those men and it wasn’t just power in my own right. When that support was taken away then I was just like the next girl. With an executive putting his arm around me and patting me and me thinking, how dare you.

Dom Knight:

Oh really, that happened?

Libbi Gorr:

Oh yeah.

Dom Knight:

What you’re saying is-

Libbi Gorr:

He died.

Dom Knight:

Oh, well there you go.

Libbi Gorr:

I didn’t do it, but you ran into my knife 10 times. No, no, no, no, no. That’s Chicago.

Dom Knight:

But it’s interesting what you said, in the entertainment industry more broadly is that it’s true. I mean these gate keepers who no one knows about, can make and unmake careers and I guess these days we see people trying to do things themselves directly through YouTube or Instagram or whatever it is, and trying to cut out the middle men who were always men. Do you think that that’s changed in comedy, the way that people connect with the audiences?

Libbi Gorr:

I don’t think they’re all middle men anymore. I mean not… At the ABC there are lots of women in really powerful positions.

Dom Knight:

Yeah, that’s true.

Libbi Gorr:

And I think in daytime television and morning television, there are lots of women producers. There are lots more women in decision making roles.

Dom Knight:

Yeah sorry, no, that’s absolutely true. What I really meant to say, the decision makers more broadly get in the way.

Libbi Gorr:

Well, everyone’s got much more agency. If you’ve got the drive and you’ve got a mobile phone and you can get onto YouTube, you can get your stuff out there, can’t you? And a cream pie to whack in your brother’s face. I saw it on YouTube this morning, sorry gentlemen, am I derailing the interview?

Andrew Hansen:

This always happens with you.

Libbi Gorr:

Do you know the biggest YouTube channel that there is? It’s the one that my daughter watches and your daughter might watch, sir. It’s the one where the kid unwraps toys. It’s just watching another child unwrapping presents.

Andrew Hansen:

Yeah. Do you understand the appeal of these unboxing videos? Because it could be something that we could tap into, I’m thinking, from a PR perspective…

Dom Knight:

I’m thinking Border Force could definitely do some unwrapping and unboxing videos.

Andrew Hansen:

Well it’s, all the stuff we’ve seized at the border, we could unbox them.

Libbi Gorr:

Instead of it being a drama like they do on Border Security, on commercial television, we could actually get into budget surplus, if we actually took the drugs and the weapons and the mud crabs, and all of those things that people are trying to import or export-

Andrew Hansen:

Sausages.

Libbi Gorr:

Sausages.

Andrew Hansen:

Fish products.

Libbi Gorr:

Yes. And we unwrapped them on YouTube-

Andrew Hansen:

It would be huge.

Libbi Gorr:

It would be fantastic.

Andrew Hansen:

I can see that being huge.

Libbi Gorr:

Our revenue, raise a millions we could bring in.

Andrew Hansen:

This sort of Chinese pressure packed fish unboxing at the border. Yes. Yes.

Dom Knight:

An aphrodisiac. The rhino horns.

Libbi Gorr:

It would be perfect. And maybe I could be your creative director. I could be Julie, the cruise director.

Andrew Hansen:

It sounds great.

Libbi Gorr:

On one of the big boats that we need to turn back. What do you think.

Dom Knight:

Libbi welcome to Border Force, Libbi Gorr.

Libbi Gorr:

Thank you.

Dom Knight:

Yes, this sound amazing.

Libbi Gorr:

It’s much better to just go in with a joyful heart and an open mind rather than trying to resist. Better to be on the inside than the out, right?

Dom Knight:

I think between licking detainees and doing YouTube contraband channel, it’s amazing we haven’t recruited you before.

Libbi Gorr:

We got there.

Dom Knight:

Welcome.

Libbi Gorr:

Thanks. Where’s my room?

Voiceover:

Extreme vetting with The Chaser was written and presented by Dom Knight, Charles Firth and Andrew Hansen, recorded in collaboration with PodcastOne Australia, produced by Alex Mitchell and audio production by Dassi Thompson. For all episodes, search Extreme Vetting Podcast. Listen for free at podcastoneaustralia.com.au or download the new PodcastOne Australia app.

 






 

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