In a startling turn of events, the Swiss financial hub of Zurich has been renamed “Zubroke” after the catastrophic collapse of the renowned Bank Credit Suisse.

The Swiss government is now said to be desperately hoping its only other industry, cheese manufacturing, doesn’t collapse, though experts say they can already see many holes in this product.

Meanwhile other major financial centres have been rocked by the instability in the banking sector, with Frankfurt being renamed “Frankrupt”, Hong Kong becoming Long Con, and Los Angeles adding another ‘s’ to Los. Unemployment has also skyrocketed, with the writer of this story being left unemployed after trying to pass off a bunch of city based puns as comedy.