Scientists have warned that every person serving under the former Morrison-Turnbull government may need urgent medical treatment, after every single person attending the RoboDebt inquiry was unable to recall a single fact about anything they did over the last 10 years.
“It’s deeply concerning,” said one doctor. “Even simple, everyday questions like ‘did you bother to look up the law before sending people fake debts’ is turning out to be too much for these poor individuals. Clearly something has gone very wrong if they can’t remember why they set up an illegal billion dollar government backed scam, or who was responsible.”
“We’re also seeing them regressing to childlike mindsets,” said another observer. “Pointing the finger at someone else when the adults in the room show evidence they’ve done something wrong, and only responding with simple, rudimentary, words like “yes”, “no” or “I don’t recall” when spoken to.”
“Some even seemed on the brink of tears,” observed experts. “Which is heartening as it’s the first time we’ve ever seen them demonstrate emotions.”
“In any case, clearly these people are not up to handling large complex government departments,” empathised the commissioner. “I guess we should probably take away their $900,000 a year defence job until they recover.”