Russian President Vladimir Putin has today warned his adversaries that he will not hesitate to send his citizens to their untimely death over and over again until there are none of them left, if Ukraine does not relent immediately.

“The coward Ukrainians are no match for my almost 50% success rate in battle,” explained Putin. “Soon if you do not relent I will be forced to use our very last missiles and bullets on you. I might even be forced to deploy some of our WWI tanks out of our museums. You won’t be laughing then, will you!”