In an unsurprising turn of events, the International Procrastinators Union has been forced to push back their annual meeting this week, citing foreseen delays. The conference, initially scheduled for March will now take place “eventually”, pending further discussions around a merger with Qantas.

Union members are said to be extremely pleased with the outcome, with one member stating, “Thank God for that, I’d procrastinated on buying my plane ticket for the meeting so long I didn’t think I’d make it anyway.”

The agenda for the IPU’s annual gathering, which has been in the works for the better part of a decade, remains a closely guarded secret – primarily because nobody has bothered to draft it yet. Union leaders assure members that it will be a “thrilling and engaging” event, just as soon as they get around to it.

In the meantime, the IPU’s members will continue to perfect their craft in the real world, delaying everything from household chores to important decisions such as phasing out digging up chemicals which threaten to destroy our way of life.

“Yea I’ve been meaning to get around to that one,” announced every world leader that constitutes the union. “Unfortunately we’re just too busy procrastinating fixing the global housing market to get around to it. Maybe next year.”