In a shocking turn of events, NSW Premier Dominic Perrottet has today opened his election campaign by announcing his support for the Labor party, citing their commitment to free childcare as the deciding factor.
When asked about his sudden change of allegiance, Perrottet stated, “I mean, come on, who doesn’t love free stuff? Plus, it will save me a fortune on babysitting costs for my twenty six kids.”
Perrottet also revealed that he had been quietly attending Labor party meetings for weeks, disguised as a playgroup dad in a desperate bid to secure a spot in the free childcare program.
“I’ve also secretly been attending One Nation meetings,” explained Perrottet. “I had the perfect costume to blend in there too.”
Critics have slammed Perrottet’s move as a blatant attempt to leach off the government teat. But Perrottet has remained unphased, stating, “I’ll save more on childcare than I’ll ever lose in political credibility. Plus, have you seen Chris Minns’ hair? Phwoar, what I’d do to that man. Sorry this mic is off isn’t it?”
The Labor party, meanwhile, has welcomed Perrottet with open arms, stating that he’s just the kind of guy they’re looking for. “On the ropes, surrounded by corruption allegations, unable to win an election, that’s exactly the kind of talent we look for in NSW Labor,” explained one high ranking faceless man. “Plus that thing where he got busted for trying to sneak Barilaro that job in New York? That was straight out of the old Obeid playbook. He’ll be like a duck to water with us.”
Perrottet will officially announce his defection at a press conference tonight, where he is expected to unveil his new campaign slogan: ‘The Perrottet family – always in labour’.