Local citizen Ozzie Mann has this week started to suspect that the media might not have his best interests at heart, after being repeatedly informed that a tax on billionaires would be terrible for him and his parents.
Many citizens were left scratching their heads, wondering why the media seemed more concerned about the financial well-being of a handful of ultra-wealthy individuals in the middle of a cost of living crisis and a rental market implosion.
“Uh, wait I actually don’t have millions of dollars to throw at super, I can barely afford rent?” Mann said while scrolling through a million Sky News recommendations on YouTube. “Who the hell even cares if Gina Rinehart has to pay more tax when bread’s doubled in price in 3 months?”
Meanwhile, one billionaire was reportedly spotted sobbing into his gold-plated pillow over the news that he might have to pay a few extra dollars in taxes. “I just don’t know how I’ll survive on only 10 private jets instead of 12,” he wailed.
Another billionaire, when asked for comment, simply laughed and said, “Taxes? What are those? Oh wait, you mean those things that poor people pay? Ha! Good one!”