Single mother and retiree Janice Rothschild III has today suggested millennials should cut back on luxuries like ‘shelter’ and ‘drinking water’ if they one day want to be able to afford a packet of Chilli Lime Red Rock Deli chips.
“Back in my day, interest rates were at 20%, and I still managed to buy chips,” explained Janice. “The problem with kids these days is they were born at a time of wage stagnation coupled with upward inflationary pressures on living expenses, along with a compulsory super contribution that reduces their spending power by ten percent, and an expectation to take on tens of thousands of university debt in order to enter the job market. Typical lazy millennials.”
“They should have followed my genius economic plan, and been born in the 60s where they could have exploited a post war economic and social boom while attributing their good fortune to work ethic,” explained Janice. “I don’t know why more people don’t think to do that.”
Told that chip prices have actually increased almost ten fold since she was young, therefore making them completely unaffordable to people on average incomes today, Janice suggested that instead of complaining people should just pull up their bootstraps, get out there, and inherit $2 million, like she did.