Local school confident teaching advanced calculus is much more important than something niche like tax

In a shocking revelation, it has been discovered that Average High School has been neglecting to teach students about taxes for years, despite having dedicated ample time to teaching students about plays written by a guy who died 400 years ago.

When asked about the potential backlash from parents, the principal shrugged. “The last thing we need more of in this world is people with practical skills, like knowing how to run a business and file taxes,” explained the Principal. “No, at this school we are producing students with important skills that are essential to the modern way of life, like cursive, and long division. God knows how these students could get by without those.”

“I mean, who even needs to know how to do taxes when they can calculate the slope of tangents in their sleep, right?”

The decision to neglect essential skills has sparked outrage among parents and community members, with one parent stating, “I don’t want my child to be a math genius but not know how to file their taxes! I mean, that’s like being a professional chef but not knowing how to boil water!?”

Despite criticism, school officials remain firm in their stance, stating that they’re certain a lack of tax education will not be a problem. “The fact is if we produce nothing but mathematicians, taxes won’t ever be a problem,” explained one teacher. “As they’ll never earn enough money to ever worry about paying tax anyway.”

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