Sydney’s gay community has this week faced unprecedented backlash from conservative christian groups, after they successfully raised Sydney from the dead for two weeks using chanting, dance and various colourful elixirs.
“We will not stand for this satanic display,” chanted a bunch of extremely well adjusted men marching through Newtown today. “We’re sick of seeing all this homosexual stuff on the streets of Sydney and therefore we will be our entire weekend hanging around these places, just to show how much we don’t like them.”
“We don’t hate gays, we just hate all these public displays rubbing it in our face, and being talked about in our schools,” explained one protestor. “It’s not like you see Christians publicly putting up crosses everywhere, or trying to force their way into the education curriculum.”
However, onlookers have questioned whether this protest is appropriate for children, with residents saying Christians shouldn’t be parading dicks around the street like that.
Meanwhile Sydney residents have filed 4,000,000 noise complaints, after one of the revellers rudely sneezed on the way home.