Shock investigations have today unveiled that a job opening for a “rockstar employee” in a “exciting fast paced environment” was actually just looking for a white collar employee to sit at the computer all day.

“These ads are a bit misleading,” said one disgruntled job seeker. “I thought I was applying for a challenging, high-stakes position, perfect for a go-getting rockstar, with an opportunity to work with a passionate team and be part of something truly game-changing, but it turned they just wanted me to water the pot plants.”

Another employee has reported that the most ‘fast-paced’ moment of the entire 9-5 day was when the printer stopped working for a brief moment leading to three people to gather round and attempt percussive maintenance.

Meanwhile recruiters have put the call out for someone to buy the printer some new ink, describing the task as “a once in a lifetime opportunity to deliver something truly special that will make a real impact on the lives of others, with the possibility for career advancement and recognition for your hard work.”