American conservative Fred Neck has this week blasted the concept of Drag Queen story time, telling fellow Hooters patrons that he is firmly against people flaunting their sexual preferences in public.

“How am I supposed to explain that kind of thing to my children?” asked the man who has testicles installed on the back of his car. “It’s just inappropriate if you ask me.”

Asked whether it might be considered inappropriate by some to attach stickers of women in bikinis to the back of a car, such as those featured on Fred’s pickup, Fred explained that it’s different in that case, as it’s just natural to desire a 2D cartoon of a woman with gravity defying ZZZ breasts.

“That’s something I think the whole family can enjoy,” explained Fred. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to miss Tucker Carlson. I hear today he’ll be talking about why he’s attracted to the M&M cartoons. Can’t get more natural than that.”