Doctors across Australia have issued a warning of a potential new pandemic today, after an unprecedented 25 million Australians called in sick for the day between the Australia Day public holiday and the weekend.
One physician, who wished to remain anonymous, stated, ‘I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s like the entire population of Australia suddenly came down with a severe case of ‘I don’t feel like going to work-itis.’
The Australian Medical Association has issued a statement expressing their concern for the nation’s overall health, stating, ‘We are deeply worried about the sudden outbreak. We’re calling on everyone to be on the look out for the symptoms – apathy, extreme thirst for beer, and a strong urge to go sit on the beach for 12 hours.
Asked for his take on the situation, the Prime Minister’s office said he would take 2-4 days to reply due to his plan to come down with a sudden unexpected illness sometime tomorrow.