The real reason our CEO is leaving

Our CEO is NOT leaving due to the trainwreck 4corners interview, stop saying that

This newsletter is brought to you by Taylor Swift, legally as an Aussie media outlet this week we are required to mention her for lazy clickbait.

Dear Stakeholders,

Here at The Chaser, we need to clarify a few things.

Following the abrupt departure of our CEO this week, there have been baseless rumours claiming that he didn’t just suddenly decide to resign his cushy multi-million-dollar job for no reason.

The departure of our beloved CEO has NOTHING to do with the investigation by Four Corners into The Chaser which found that we’ve been hoarding drunk National Party MPs in our stationery cupboard in an attempt to corner the news satire market.

Nor does it have anything to do with the CEO’s interview on Four Corners, where he abruptly left half way through. Our CEO was simply running late to feed the National Party MPs (they’re on an all-liquid diet, so they need constant topping up).

Anyway, enough about that. Instead we welcome our new CEO, after months of intense international searching that definitely did happen for real, we’re delighted to announce that we’ve appointed a new CEO to keep running our company into the ground. 

She understands the values at the core of our company and we are excited for all the innovations she will bring as we move forward into the future of moving forward. (While also changing nothing about our actual practices.)

We are excited to finally have a female CEO, bringing about a much needed change in gender of our leadership, until of course she will be made to step down as a scapegoat about whatever next scandal befalls us in a few weeks’ time.

Kind regards,

John Delmenico
Head of Comms at Chaser Corp

More Newsletters