Lessons on how to cause offence

During the week, our nation was privileged to be party to not one, but two outrages about the behaviour of certain Muslim women on Anzac Day. One was a fake outrage created by a baseless story, the other was a baseless outrage created by a fake story.

Here at The Chaser, we’ve created our own outrages over the years, and so we’d like to share with you some tips on where these women went wrong, and why they caused such offence.

First off, they weren’t white. Over the years, we’ve found that being white has made it easier to be forgiven for causing offense than any other colour. In future, these women should think about becoming white, or letting a white person speak on their behalf.

Secondly, they made the mistake of being women. Again, while an opinionated man may seem charming, nobody wants to hear from an opinionated women. It does no favours for their gender. In future, they should let a man speak on their behalf.

Thirdly, they were Muslim. I don’t even need to explain what a mistake that is.

Don’t get us wrong. We’re not against free speech. Far from it. In fact, all these Muslim women have to do is fix the above problems, and they are free to express themselves in modern Australia. After all, it’s what our diggers fought for! Lest we forget.

Charles Firth
Managing Editor

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