Happy International Women’s Day from a Male Boss

The Chaser’s Chief Patriarchy Officer here with a heartfelt IWD message

This newsletter is brought to you by Cupcakes. Who needs equal pay and safety when you have cupcakes?

Hello everyone,

Today is a special day, International Women’s Day. So just a reminder that we all have the special afternoon tea with some delicious cupcakes that we got the female employees to make.

They are extra tasty this year, ladies, well done. I’ve had about 20 of them myself. Apologies if anyone missed out! Maybe bake more next year, hey?!

Of course, the afternoon tea will have more than just cupcakes. We will have an amazing guest speaker. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to stick around for the speech, but I’ll make sure I get a photo with them for our social media before I duck out for my weekly round of golf with the old boys. (Such a pity that IWD falls on a Friday this year!)

And I want to make it clear that we are committed to making sure that we solve any hypothetical structural issues we might historically have had. That is why I promise that if we do not get rid of all sexism by the end of the year, I personally will take responsibility and fire the highest ranking woman for not fixing everything.

You’re welcome, women.

Also, I would be remiss to not congratulate my friend Jacob, who I’m sure many of you know, judging by the HR complaints. Congrats on the recent promotion, buddy.


John Delmenico
Chief Patriarchy Officer at The Chaser

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