The Chaser Weakly
BREAKING: America declared the loser of the presidential debate
Issue #282
• Posted
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The first presidential debate for 2024 has wrapped up and voters have unanimously decided that the loser of the debate is the American people.
The broadcasted clusterfuck was less a debate and more a televised version of when old people bicker at family gatherings in a way that reminds you why you don’t talk to them outside of family gatherings.
The debate focused on the most important issues today like inflation, whether Biden is secretly Palestinian and of course, which of the two has the better golf swing.
It was nice to see a debate stay so on topic as clearly voters have to know which candidate is better at golf before they could ever vote for a leader and obviously the best way to prove who is better at a sport is through arguing like two naughty children in the principle’s office.
As expected Trump brought his brand of barely coherent lies and delusions of grandeur that leave you worried for democracy. Meanwhile Biden brought his brand of even less coherent mumbling and delusions of thinking he was awake the entire time.
The only good argument made during the debate was one that both of the candidates made, when they both claimed that the other candidate would lose the US respect on the world stage if they win the presidency.
All in all it is hard to pick a winner of that debate, although the clear loser is the American people.
The main takeaway for those who are not in America of the debate is that relief that comes from feeling a bit better that neither of those men will be in charge of our countries. (Well officially, unofficially they of course will still be calling the shots)
– John Delmenico, Editor of The Chaser