Camden Haven, Thurdsay: A $49.95 fire pit from the local hardware store has ignited a dormant, primal streak in an otherwise docile and domesticated dad, Dave Popovski.
Popovski, 42, is a chartered accountant who spends most of his spare time playing NRL Fantasy League and watching true crime documentaries on Netflix.
However the purchase of the the Home Timber and Hardware deal of the week, spurred on by the fact the other guys in his fantasy league Whatsapp group have one, has seen Popovski suddenly become an expert on all things outdoor living.
“This is a really important skill for you to learn if you’re ever stuck out in the bush,” said Popovski to his bemused kids as he unpacked the expensive birch wood he bought off the side of the road on the way home from the hardware store.
“We wanna get some nice dry kindling to begin with. But since the backyard here is paved and we don’t have any bush, we will just use the paperwork from daddy’s audit in 2011.”
Once the fire started Popovski, now three Captain Sensibles deep, began to reminisce about his camping and hunting expertise.
“Yep, this is just how we used to get them going back in the scout days. Ya know, I reckon if it ever came to it I’d be able to keep us all goin’ in the outback. All I’d need is a lighter and a good huntin’ knife, for stickin’ boars n’ that.”
“Dad, why are you talking like that?” asked his eight year old daughter.
“Oh, don’t worry about it love. Pass me that bit of forby, would ya?
“The what? And since when do you call me love?”
“Sorry, Xanthia, honey. I meant that long bit of wood sitting next to you. Now move out of the way, I need to get a photo of this bad boy for the Whatsapp.”