“Unlike Boris, I would never plan anything during the pandemic” Morrison assures nation

Government finally acts on housing crisis by halting supply of avocados

Nation with no food thankful government spent crucial weeks focused on making it legal to fire gay people

Perrottet admits slight difficulty in enforcing new testing rules due to THE COMPLETE FUCKING LACK OF RATS

Christian Porter congratulates government on stunning victory in Djokovic case

Government with no money for tests luckily has spare $3.5 billion for tanks

Scott Morrison awards himself another trophy as food supplies dry up

Government told they must learn to live with Novak

Party that spent $80 million on non-existent water reckons free plague tests during a plague would be a waste of money

NSW announces new plans to manage bushfires by airdropping petrol on fire