Capitalist elites cave in to protesters: Global utopia to begin immediately
Copies of an internal report, titled 'A simple solution to all the world's problems,' marked by the Secretariat of the G20 as 'Never to be released,' were distributed to journalists and over-joyed activists today
Bogan unaware his mullet is fashionable
"These chicks keep coming up to me and asking 'where'd ya hair cut? It's so cool!" said Franklin. "You'd think they'd never been to Carl's Discount Cuts."
Breakfast TV perfect place for a bit of casual racism, report nation’s blonde women
"What could go wrong"
“Those poor Fyre Islanders!” says nation celebrating day we took over an island & fucked over the locals
"We should probably say sorry and then do nothing else."
Arnott’s continue ‘Aussie Legends’ line with Aerogard-flavoured Shapes
The snack has already received a ringing endorsement from the Prime Minister, who insisted that they be served at citizenship ceremonies nationwide.
Young couple ready to pit $10 Kmart fan against 40 degree heat
"That should do it"
Replica Endeavour seized by Australian Border Force: crew detained on Nauru
The Prime Minister said the crew of recent NIDA graduates dressed in 18th century garb, would be detained on Nauru indefinitely. 
Australia Day 2019: racist uncle gearing up for busiest week of the year
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Lunch-break worker breaches ATM etiquette
"I don't know how she was raised," said disgruntled queuer Nick Mendes. "But I was always taught not to waste everyone's lunch hour with on-screen account balances."
Lazy man hoping unironed clothes become fashionable
The 30-year-old has experimented with unironed T-shirts and jeans on the weekend, even going so far as to tell a female acquaintance that prominent wrinkles were "all the rage in Milan"

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