Minister for Home Affairs Peter Dutton revealed his Christmas wish list today, admitting that he’s still holding out hope Australia may have a white Christmas.
“There’s never been a better atmosphere for a white Christmas,” said Dutton.
“I was getting worried about my fellow Australians there for awhile, but the re-election of our government along with the likes of Pauline Hanson and Malcolm Roberts, as well as Jacquie Lambie helping repeal the medevac bill, helped assure me we’re on the right path.”
“So my gift to the quiet Australians will be stepping up Border Force patrols across our country, as well as continuing to persecute as many internal minorities as much as possible.
Dutton noted that there would be no exceptions to the push for the white Christmas. He confirmed that customs would be stopping and searching Santa after reports that he may be using his sleigh to smuggle refugees into Australia. Santa will also be required to give assurances that he won’t be seeking asylum.