"As well as his undocumented arrivals and departures, we suspect this guy is one of the chief lieutenants in an international smuggling network ran by a wanted figure with known links to occultism and unregulated sweatshop labour.”

"Second comes right after first."

Blair’s bonus is valued at $1.4 million, or 25 per cent of his base pay. On top of this amount, Blair can also expect a 5 per cent Bonus Delivery Bonus

"I know it started with an A... or an F"

"The only real highlights have been when somebody threw their shoes at John Howard and the time we featured a tweet from an account called @Abbottlovesanal."

"What's the Taj Mahal got that we don't?"

The police force announced today that it had decided to give up trying to work out who committed all the unsolved murders and robberies, and instead rely on investigations by the hosts of true crime podcasts to solve crime

"Lee was pretty quiet at school," said reunion organiser Anna Aprile. "Which made it kinda creepy that he could describe all the different outfits I wore."

"He's always been known to attack his goals... this is just the first time it's been an actual Goal Attack."

"Turns out he had a lot of good points that we hadn't considered."