PM denies extra assistance to renters, claiming he’s “tough on boarders”
He's certainly not “tough on borders”
Dickhead uses Twitter thread to outline harrowing account of what it’s like to not have Covid-19
The thread is a cautionary tale for people who might be thinking that being a dickhead isn't such a bad thing
Government asks virus to hold off for six weeks so they can get stimulus sorted
The PM said he’d been working incredibly hard — sometimes up to 3 or 4 hours a day
Jetstar CEO forced to sit on floor after overbooking family couch
It happen despite him having bagsed a spot earlier in the day.
Queensland’s ‘Smart State’ title revoked for holding election during pandemic
Also it was never true
Oxford Dictionary names “Oh Fuck” Word of the Year
It now accounts for 50% of all words used in the English language
BREAKING: Everything
"Jesus Christ what now."
Morrison decides to use to novelty oversized prop to make people take him more seriously
"Now that he's used a novelty over-sized prop, I realise the gravity of the situation," coughed one finance executive
Cat does better job writing report than home worker
"Great work on that report," the boss is reported to have emailed back
Lonely home worker leaves passive aggressive notes to himself in home kitchen
"Whoever left this, clean it up. I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER!"

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!