Victorian contact tracers race to contain new outbreak of schadenfreude

Shops across Victoria have seen their shelves stripped of popcorn today, following the latest COVID outbreak in the “gold standard” state of NSW.

“Wow, escalating cases, that’s terrible,” said Victoria collectively after having watched the NSW government shrug off multiple outbreaks. “Who would have thought not having a mask mandate, nobody getting vaccines, and everyone being encouraged to just go about their lives would have not been an effective strategy to stop the Delta strain.”

“You’re all so lucky not to live under the brutal reign of a dictator premier who wants you all to stay healthy and safe. Oh wait now your premier is having to lock down too? Gee I hope you enjoy us sending journalists to all your press conferences then trying to undermine the government’s health response. Or is that only okay when you guys do it?”

With thanks to JoeBiden from the Chaser Discord for the headline


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