Star City casino have reportedly paid the ultimate price for lax COVID restrictions this week, after the state’s only operating casino was forced to pay 0.0000000000000000001% of it’s hourly revenue in fines as punishment for the health and safety breach.
“Unfortunately this hefty fine means we will no longer be able to keep the lights on or pay staff,” explained one Star City casino manager, as he placed a ‘for sale’ sign out the front of the building. “I guess this is a valuable lesson for other businesses to not make the same mistake.”
However, some critics have pointed out that a $5000 fine would likely be little more than a rounding error for Star City’s accountants, and if anything they’ve made more money through breaching rules than they lost through the fine. “Oh look, we actually have a spare few billion dollars down the back of this couch,” exclaimed one executive. “Oh well, we’ve already declared bankruptcy, guess we won’t need to declare it on our taxes then.”
If you enjoyed this article, consider becoming a contributor to the Chaser Beer Fund. For just $7 a month you can help us employ 20 more interns.