Australian Prime Minister and back-line worker Scott Morrison has allayed the nation’s fears tonight by reminding everyone that he has already received his vaccine.

“I know this is a scary time for the people of Perth and Melbourne today,” said the Prime Minister at a COVID conference this afternoon. “But I just want you all to know that I’m safe.”

“I think Australians know that when it comes to pandemics of this nature, our philosophy has always been – every man, woman and child for themselves.”

Asked when the rest of the country would be receiving their first dose, Morrison said he had set a clear deadline, before sprinting out of the room.

“In Australia, if you have a go, you get a go. Which reminds me, I gotta go…”