Minister for Defence Peter Dutton has spoken out in outrage today, after discovering that a government department has been set up to try to create a safe space in the universe.

“Whose idea is this?” asked Dutton. “The PC brigade have gone too far! Now they’re truly a universal threat.”

“We must stop them spreading their woke agenda to aliens, the latte-sipping inner-solar system elites will try and bring illegal aliens to our home planet. We can not let them in, unless they are au-pairs.”

“The entire thing is a complete waste of government resources, we have way too much to deal with right now to go to space. The costs at Nauru just keep going up and up, plus some of the ADF’s photography equipment got water damaged in the floods.”