NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has today announced that the formerly cancelled Black Rights protest will now be going ahead as planned, after organisers announced that a football will be kicked around during the event.
“Aw dang, you got me,” said Gladys, who had only hours before announced that football games would be allowed to proceed. “Next you’re going to tell me they’ve re-convened their protesters in a shopping mall.”
However, Gladys was quick to point out that the cancelling of the protest was always about public health, with fears that thousands of protesters could force police to shut down the protests, like they didn’t with the 3000 strong 5G protests last month. “It’s simple science that viruses only spread at some protests but not others, and that other large public gatherings like sports games are immune. If you don’t believe me, look in a textbook, and then do let me know if I’m right because I haven’t actually checked.
The Chaser Quarterly