A major announcement has been made for Australian citizens today, as an official national disaster has been declared by fellow national disaster Scott Morrison.

“Things have gotten extremely bad in the region,” explained the PM, “I am confident in saying that I am, sorry I mean it is, officially a national disaster. I completely relate to the trouble facing the disaster, no amount of media spin will be able to turn it around. We all need to chip in and get out our ukuleles.”