Nation which expected nothing still somehow let down

The nation of Australia has been rushed to hospital in a state of shock today, after Prime Minister Scott Morrison somehow proved to be an even worse Prime Minister than Tony Abbott, a feat no-one had dreamed possible.

“Honestly, after the Rudd, Gillard, Rudd, Abbott, Turnbull mess I expected absolutely nothing from Morrison,” said one citizen being treated in hospital for acute shock. “Yet somehow he still managed to disappoint us, I honestly don’t think my heart can take this.”

“Honestly, mate, it’s not fucking rocket science,” said the nation in unison as Scott Morrison appeared on TV today. “All that’s expected of you during an emergency is to turn up, look worried and shake a few hands. How in gods name did a man with 20 years marketing experience manage to fuck that up.”

Morrison however has hit back at critics, stating that his holiday to Hawaii was actually the Greens idea.


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