The nation of Australia has been gripped by a national shortage of toilet paper today, following news that Prime Minister Scott Morrison would be embarking on a ceremonial visit to his second home at Engadine Maccas.
“You can never be too prepared,” said one Engadine staffer, as he emptied the shelves of his fifth local supermarket, “we’ve learned from past experience that 2400 rolls is just not enough for turds as big as ScoMo.”
With toilet paper supplies dwindling, the nation’s toilet goers have been forced to resort to other alternative forms of toilet paper, such as the Daily Telegraph, and other Murdoch publications. Some have even latched on to the new market, with premium mastheads such as the Australian launching new 2-ply editions to deliver subscribers the ultimate luxury experience.
The Chaser Quarterly