Citizens across Australia have bunkered down and prepared for the worst today, after it was revealed that Scott Morrison will be forced into isolation for a week, making Barnaby the acting Prime Minister. “Jesus Christ we’re all going to die!” one man was heard yelling while running down the street. “Hide your dogs people!”

“As if we haven’t suffered enough already,” screamed another. “We’ve already had a new virus, floods, a world war, and now this on top? I’ve gotta stop reassuring people things could be worse, it’s turning out to be a self fulfilling prophecy.”

However some citizens were less concerned stating that Barnaby Joyce is exactly the man you’d want leading a country into World War 3. “Sure the guy has admitted to regularly drinking on the job, he cheated on his wife with a staffer, he drove his car into flood waters, he got fined for not wearing a mask during a Covid outbreak, had texts leak calling Scott Morrison a liar, and he once tried to kill Johnny Depp’s dogs,” the voter explained, “but on the upside he was responsible for the whole watergate thing, so I’m willing to bet he’ll have all this floodwater sold off for a tidy profit in no time.”