Morrison announces Covid-19 vaccine found, next year

The Morrison government has today proudly proclaimed that the nation’s problems are solved, after the Liberal party successfully found a vaccine for Coronavirus sometime early next year.

“We are proud to announce today we have cured the virus,” announced Morrison confidently today. “And we look forward to distributing it as soon as it’s invented.”

However, journalists were sceptical about this cure, with some pointing out that Morrison hadn’t actually fixed anything, and in actual fact many things could change between now and next year that might prevent or delay a cure. “Look, I don’t know what you’re all complaining about, we cured it, it’s cured, next year,” explained a frustrated Morrison. “It couldn’t be any simpler, we fixed it, in the future, so all of us are now cured next year.”

Asked if this was just going to turn out like the budget surplus that the government had in the future that didn’t actually happen, Morrison excused himself explaining that it was Christmas holidays in the future and so he’s got a flight to Hawaii to catch.


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