Local freedom campaigner and part time contrarian idiot Karen Nomask has this week denounced “the rising tide of government oppression” after being politely asked to wear a mask in a supermarket so he doesn’t kill people.
“What has the world come to where a person can’t go outside and launch an invisible biological attack on every person who he comes in contact with?” asked Karen angrily. “Why this is basically communist Russia, I am yet to see a single scrap of evidence that facemasks do anything other than significantly reduce the incidence of airborn viral particles, thereby reducing the risk to others around me. And that’s hardly a reason for people to be deprived of seeing my beautiful face!”
Asked what exactly she had against the facemasks, Karen explained that they are a little bit uncomfortable and they make it hard for her to breathe. “It feels like I’m suffocating,” explained Karen, which is also incidentally exactly what he will tell doctors when she is admitted to hospital in two weeks and has to be put on a machine because her lungs have failed.
“Who could have forseen this,” future Karen will exclaim. “If only the government had done something to try prevent this.”
OUR LATEST LIVE SHOW - BOOK NOW: